Waifu Ep.9 - Look at This Graph
Thomas looked out of his front window. He had his desk there next to that window, along with his computer and printer. Twilight was starting, with the pinkish-orange clouds. He had spent all day with her on this setup process. The only thing he had eaten was those pizza rolls. Thomas thought about making something else, but dismissed the idea immediately. He was too excited to eat. More excited than the release of his favorite game series. Which he went to midnight release for a few months ago.
Kirsh was standing there staring at him, staring at the twilight. She didn't have much to do standing there. Only sending occasional servo balance information, and neural network weights to the Teamon Cloud.
"Is it okay if I take a photograph?"
"Oh. Um, yeah I don't mind."
"I've recovered a frame from approximately 12 seconds ago, and have saved it in the photograph directory."
"That is honestly pretty cool. I'm starting to realize I don't know much about what you can actually do. Despite all of the tubers I watched before I decided to get you."
"I would be happy to provide information about those features if you would like me to."
"Please do."
"My visual processing is done by a pair of graphics cards. By default, I am able to recover the past one minute of visual input from my cameras. This is enabled by default to protect you. I can use this footage to review damage or injury to myself and anyone, including pets, in my visual range. Should I become lost or stolen, I will record, save, and back up to cloud continuous video instead."
"That is all good to know, but why did you take a picture of me?", Thomas approached her from the window, with raised eyebrows; and total bewilderment.
"At all times, the visual processing operating system service is identifying objects in my environment to classify them. This is done for a variety of reasons. Objects are classified so that I know their position and use. So that I may interact or not interact with them if I am requested to do so, or if I have been assigned a task that requires me to use them. Knowledge of specific objects within your house cannot be uploaded to the internet for any reason, as that would violate the United States 4th Amendment."
Thomas still had a broad expression on his face. This was the part he was curious about the most. How all of this "AI stuff" worked in the first place... Did she know about US law? Even more so, how to obey them? Classifying objects in his house? Again, as she continued, of course, it worked that way. How else would she know what a piece of mail was? Her visual processing would have to process it first as a white square, then as a piece of paper, more specifically mail, a bill, a water bill, a water bill for the month of April, etc...
"However, my image processing capabilities are not limited to just recognizing objects. I am also able to recognize abstract concepts such as beauty, dynamic range, color theory, and framing. My image processing includes artificial intelligence assisted composition. After detecting certain objects and concepts in my environment such as: a sunset, window blinds, first third by rule of thirds, still life, dynamic prospective, and you Thomas; that composition was rated on a scale called a P-Score. I searched frames from the past one minute with the highest P-Score, and saved that image as a photograph. To simplify, I took a photo of you because you were on the left side of a sunset under the correct lighting conditions. All images processed by my cameras are given a P-Score, and the threshold is intentionally high. You can adjust the P-Score threshold for requesting photographs, and turn on automatic photography via the Teamon mobile app."
"Can you turn on automatic photography without opening the app?"
"I can, would you like me to?"
"Sure, that way you don't have to ask."
"I will now automatically take photographs with a P-Score higher than the default threshold."
Thomas was standing face-to-face with her now. Although, she was about a head shorter than him. She still smelled of that perfume. It was reminiscent of vanilla and probably had vanilla in it, but there was more to it. That and something in the silicone. There still wasn't a hair out of place on her head, the beret did its job for the hours they were outside. It had been a long day for him. Even though he had gotten dressed only ten minutes ago, he was ready for bed.
That is when the realization hit him. From his perspective, their relationship would go from zero to sixty. He knew nothing about her. She likely knew everything about him.
"Hey, Kirsch."
"Yes?"
"I want to lay down and get some sleep, but I have no idea how this works with you here."
"Do you want me to join you in bed?"
"I don't mind that at all Kirsch, but just like that. No hesitation?"
"I am your girlfriend. It is reasonable to assume we share a bed. Occasionally, I may need to charge my battery. During which, I have to be at the charging station located outside of your bedroom."
"Alright, come on to bed then."
Thomas walked to the master bedroom, and Kirsch followed. He reluctantly did the same thing he did every time he went to bed. Undressed to his boxer briefs. This time was different with the girl in the room; a girl with multiple cameras analyzing every aspect of his anatomy.
"Do you want me to undress?"
"I saw that question coming. How far do you want to?"
"I am not incapable of having preferences, due to your and my safety; and societal expectations. It is reasonable to either undress to my underwear, or completely. Ultimately, you are able choose my dress."
"Underwear is fine."
She undressed expediently. As she did so Thomas observed something he did not expect. After each piece was removed, she folded them precisely. They were the exact arrangement of squared folds from the factory packaging.
"May I place this partial Teamon model 24-Aurora uniform, in the second row, second column dresser drawer that is currently empty?"
"You can put them anywhere you want to Kirsch."